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Why the Autistic Community Needs Us to Pass the Mic |
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Hello Reader,
When you become a mom to an autistic child, you get handed an unofficial job title that no one warned you about: advocate. Suddenly, you’re fighting with doctors, schools, insurance companies, and even family members just to make sure your child is seen, heard, and supported. It’s exhausting, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You learn to speak louder than you ever thought possible.
Advocacy isn’t just about speaking. It’s also about knowing when to stop speaking.
Autistic adults have been living what our kids are living. They carry the scars of a world that didn’t understand them and the wisdom of how to survive it. When they share their voices, their insights, and their experiences, we have a responsibility as moms not just to nod politely but to make space. To sit down sometimes.
Because as fierce as our love is, our advocacy has limits. We can speak for our children in a room where they’re not heard yet. But autistic adults speak as our children from the inside out. And that perspective is one we can never truly hold, no matter how much research we read or how many hours we spend in therapy waiting rooms.
That doesn’t mean your role isn’t essential. You are your child’s first line of defense, their safe place, their translator to the outside world. But the ally role asks us to stretch further; to hand the microphone to autistic adults, to listen more than we explain, and to resist the urge to center our own voices when theirs are needed most.
It’s not always comfortable. Sometimes autistic adults will challenge us. They may call us out on the language we use, or the assumptions we make, or the organizations we support. But sitting down and listening doesn’t diminish our love for our kids; it sharpens it. It ensures we’re not just building a world where our children survive, but one where they thrive.
Being more than a mom means embracing both parts of the role: the advocate who fights tooth and nail, and the ally who knows when to pass the mic. Both are acts of love. Both are essential.
Stay Mighty,
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Listen to the Latest Podcast Episode |
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What you’ll discover:
- The difference between advocacy and allyship
- When autism parents need to pass the mic
- How allyship is making the world a more inclusive place for our children
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Pass the Mic |
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I’ve fought in rooms both cold and bright,
Stayed up through every sleepless night,
Learned to push, to shout, to write
All for my child, with all my might.
But love is more than raising voice,
It’s knowing silence can be choice.
To step aside, to make the space,
For voices born from lived embrace.
Autistic hearts, their truth runs deep,
The wisdom hard, the scars they keep.
When they speak, I will not deny,
Their echo lifts my child to fly.
So I will fight, but I will hear,
I’ll pass the mic and keep them near.
Together strong, we’ll light the way,
Where all our children thrive one day.
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Q: Dear Ash, I’m a mom of a newly diagnosed autistic child. I want to advocate well, but autistic adults online keep saying moms need to “sit down.” Why would they want me quiet when I’m fighting so hard? |
A: It’s not about silencing you, I promise. It’s about sharing space. As moms, we bring fierce love. Autistic adults bring lived experience our kids can’t always express yet. Passing the mic doesn’t mean stepping out; it means making advocacy stronger by letting both voices matter. Speak when your child needs you, listen when the community offers wisdom. That balance is how we change the world for them.
Got a question or topic you want me to address? Hit reply and ask away, your question might be featured in the next newsletter or on social media!
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