I used to think I had to be polite about advocacy.
That if I said it the right way, asked gently enough, or smiled when I said, “He actually needs accommodations,” people would listen.
But here’s the truth no one tells you:
Polite doesn’t get your child what they need. Persistence does.
Somewhere along the way, “advocating” got twisted into “overreacting.”
We get labeled as too intense, too sensitive, too extra, all because we’re asking the world to make just enough room for our autistic children to belong.
But advocating isn’t extra.
It’s essential.
It’s essential when your child can’t speak for themselves and the adults around them won’t slow down to listen.
It’s essential when a teacher wants compliance over connection.
It’s essential when family keeps dismissing sensory needs as “preferences.”
It’s essential when the world still sees autism through a deficit lens and calls acceptance a “nice idea,” not a non-negotiable.
I’ve had to advocate for things that many people still don’t understand.
Like inclusive birthday parties. Like school supports that don’t shame behavior. Like being able to leave a family event without justifying why.
Advocacy isn’t something we do because we’re dramatic. We do it because we love our kids.
Because we know better than to wait for the world to catch up on its own.
So if you’ve ever been told to “chill,” “lighten up,” or “let it go” let me be clear:
You’re not being dramatic. You’re being a damn good parent. Keep going.
Your voice matters more than their comfort ever will.
With you in this always,
