Hey Reader
We were supposed to be visiting family in Michigan. Literally right now. But I had to make the call to cancel.
My oldest, who is four and a half, is autistic and has a laundry list of medical complications that mean he needs a wheelchair anytime we leave the house. I'd been preparing him for flying for weeks. But as I tucked him into bed one night, he tells me, "I scared."
I dropped down beside his bed and talked through his fears with him, trying to reassure him, even calling in his airplane-expert dad to fill in the gaps. But there was no convincing him. A trip we took nearly two years ago left such a bad impression that I'm not sure we'll ever fully get past it.
So I made new plans to take just my two-and-a-half-year-old while Mike stayed back with Maximus. But during a trip to a local theme park here in Florida, Max had a seizure. Thankfully he was fine and didn't get hurt. But it left me shook.
You see, Max has an ultra-rare condition that only about 1 in a billion people have ever been diagnosed with. With any injury comes new bone growth. And permanent damage. I knew I had to cancel the trip entirely. I wanted so desperately for someone else to make that call for me. But no one would. Not even Mike. So after church on Sunday, I told him I needed to talk to God. And that's exactly what I did.
I'm so thankful for my relationship with God, because it gives me peace where I never had it, and validation where I always need it. But. He gives me something more important than either of those: conviction. In His gentle way, He tells the truth. And while it's often hard to hear, and harder to accept, I know that if I don't walk in obedience to what He's saying, I'm directly defying Him. No pressure, right?
Walking in obedience is hard. Surrendering things to God is hard. Even when the thing we're surrendering is the very thing that will bring us peace. Because we worry about everyone else. What will our friends think? Our family? Our spouses? Our kids? That's why it's so important to remind ourselves that our identity stays in Christ. And what He thinks of us is what actually matters.
So. God told me I'm needed in my home right now. It's not my time to leave. And while that was hard to accept, the peace that followed was confirmation.
We spend so much time worrying about what other people think of us that it pulls us right off our calling. If you're struggling with that today, go to God. Take it to Him. And surrender it at His feet.
P.S. — If you haven't already, or didn't know yet, God told me to make my membership available so all moms can experience it. Yup, that's right! You get a community to grow with God in, an academy that drips courses out to you, and a sisterhood in Christ. Pay what you want to join the membership today!
